Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
