Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
