maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
