Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
