i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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