Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
