He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
this just has baby written all over it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
