So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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