Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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