Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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