So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
