Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
