There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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