i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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