apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
