guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
