This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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