New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
