Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
