Im at strip club and am horny
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
