Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
