Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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