i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
