So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
