I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
