I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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