I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
