the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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