the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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