and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
