My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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