i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
