I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
