there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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