don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
