Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
