but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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