Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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