just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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