ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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