lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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