I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
