He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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