trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
