Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
