I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
