I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
