His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This show inspires me to have sex in space
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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