You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
