once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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