If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
